Sunday, March 14, 2010

Cake Balls

Have you ever heard of Cake Balls? I hadn't either... until tonight... and now I want one.

I am currently spread about on the purple couch blogging next to Ally on the couch. This was one of those nights when there was legitimitely nothing on earth to do in Rexburg. Instead of straightening my hair and pretending there was something relatively awesome to do while gallavanting through the sleety snow.. I decided to throw my freshly colored hair into a messy bun, have a dinner party for myself, paint my bird shaped frame, talk to my lovers, talk to my sisters..(who are making cake balls), and watch Law and Order SVU about an angry lesbian scandal. (Though I may or may not want to slap myself for watching TV... which I believe is simply a ploy to control society... I am secretly really enjoying this large vegging session).

Though I do have a great weakness for over analyzing more than ever..during my vacation from school, while preparing for my next semester... I have had an over abundance of time to evaluate and reevaluate the choices I'm making and direction my life seems to be going. Though we (people amongst my age group) are constantly told by older generations how exciting and free this time of life is... and I do often agree, I must say that I frequently find myself yearning for just a little bit of warm, enveloping, steadiness. I yearn to be grounded in a way that I know people will not come and go in my life like weather patterns. I want to freely depend upon something other than the sun coming up and the knowledge that there is a God. I want to share my feelings openly and honestly without having to apply allowance for mind games and misconceptions. I want to understand.

Having admitted all of these feelings, I will follow by saying that more than ever ... in the past months I have been blessed to be able to find joy in the simple things of life. The moments of laughter I spend with tears rolling... while being bent over with my friends. The phone calls from sisters who are complaining about crazy parents. The new music my lovers send to me in care packages for no good reason. The random happenings and tender mercies that play out throughout the day without any effort at all. The way I hear my heart beat rapidly in my ears after a killer run... reminding me... once again.... that I have everything to succeed at my own disposal.

It is getting late... and I'm getting dillusional. All of the sudden I am finding everything hilariously hysterical. Mainly cake balls, Angry lesbians, and Rush Limbaugh. Before things get too crazy... I think I'll peace out. I miss you lovers... I love you. Can't wait to be all together!! Happy Daylight savings time. Signing off.

~Kortney Tennis Shoe

Pictures to come... maybe coordinating...maybe not.

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