Wednesday, October 13, 2010

LEARN sumthin

Today a man from the automotive section of Walmart ordered flowers to be delivered to his girlfriend, in the Dairy section of Walmart. Then he asked for the delivery person to come find him in his department, and proceed to describe to him the look on 'his baby's' face.

I stood making the arrangement while a sixty five year old delivery man named Walt hovered over my shoulder and blew his breath on my ear. He then said 'little one, that flower arrangement looks a little crowded,' then I said 'well, it is the type of flowers that are making it look that way. Then he said 'well, I think they look fowl.' Then there was roughly a two minute silence. Then he said 'Well I can't wait all day for you to finish those flowers.'After complaining about them, mind you. Then I said, 'Walt, do you know anything about flower arrangements?' He said, 'no... not a damn thing.' Then I said... 'ok, then stop speaking and take these to Walmart.'

After the Walmartians...I made and delivered twelve long stemmed roses to a local middle school for a teacher's birthday. The man who ordered them told me that it did NOT need a card because she would know who they were from. After the arrival of the flowers, the woman called and said that she thought she had a secret admirer. She went on asking who they were from, and denying having any inkling.... I told her the man's name and address... and she said.. 'really? That's my husband and I'm fighting him in court for a divorce right now.' Weird.

The games continue. A lawyer in town came in and ordered flowers for his girlfriend AND his wife on the same day. The delivery man accidentally switched the cards on the arrangements...and a few secrets flew the coop. Let's just say... don't be a sketch ball.... the universe will crush you.

A man came into order flowers for his 'wife.' However, he kept saying that anything purple would work... anything at all. I just thought purple was her signature color. I made the flowers, then delivered them. The human he referred to as his wife just happen to be a 6'4'' male named michael. Perhaps they are using their verbiage to continue protesting prop 8!? I shouldve picked up on the excessive use of the world purple. deh.

Moral. to. this. Story.... The clock says-[It's time to make a documentary of the crazies]-o'clock.

When I read of nail polish with non invisible hairs stuck to it on top of Rachy's fingers, and acetone mixed with pumpkin spice pecan scent masking her oxygen... i had a panic attack all the way in Texas.

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